Ambiguity

[davemac]

Subject: FW: THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY


Subject: THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY

FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY...


1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.

2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

3. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?

4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE
STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

5. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE
HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE
BAD GIRLS LIVE.

6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN,
"WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP
SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT
THE PURPOSE.

7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

8. IF A DEAF PERSON SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS
MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH
SOAP?

9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS
TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT
CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT
ALL?"

12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL
EATING AN ENDANGERED
PLANT?

13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH
HIS WAGES?

14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

15. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY
AFRAID SOMEONE WILL
CLEAN THEM?

16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS
OR NAKED?

17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE
HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN
SILENT?

19. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

20. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK
ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

21. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

22. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST
DROWN TOO?

23. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU
STILL BE HUNGRY?

24. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU
DONE?

25. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD LISP TO
HAVE "S" IN IT?

26. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED HEMORRHOIDS INSTEAD
OF ASSTEROIDS?

27. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T
SHOOT AT THEM?

28. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?

29. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL PERSON IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES DO THEY
BECOME DISORIENTED?

[Gunlovingvet]

Some of those are Funny LOL.