Gore, Clinton & Obama

[davemac]

Al Gore, Bill Clinton and Barrack Obama go to heaven

God addresses Al first.. ''Al, what do you believe in?''








Al replies: "Well, I believe that I won that election,

but that it was your will that I did not serve..

And I've come to understand that now.''


God thinks for a second and says:

"Very good. Come and sit at my left.''


God then addresses Bill. "Bill, what do you believe in?''








Bill replies: "I believe in forgiveness.

I've sinned, but I've never held a

grudge against my fellow man,

and I hope no grudges are held against me.''


God thinks for a second and says:

"You are forgiven, my son. Come and sit at my right.''


Then God addresses Barrack. "Barrack, what do you believe in?''




He replies: "I believe you're in my chair."

[irocpractice]

This young man in the Old West wanted to be the best gunfighter alive.
One night as he was sitting in a saloon, he spotted an old man who had
the reputation of being the greatest gunfighter in his day.

The young man walked up to the old man and told him his dream. The old
man looked him up and down and said "I have a suggestion that is sure to help."

"Tell me, tell me," said the young man.

"Tie the bottom of your holster lower onto your leg."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?"

"Definitely," said the old man. The young guy did what he was told and
drew his gun and shot the bow tie off he piano player.

"Wow, that really helped. Do you have any more suggestions?"

"Yeah, if you cut a notch in the top of your holster where the hammer
hits, the gun will come out smoother."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?"

"It sure will," said the old man.

The young guy did what he was told and drew his gun and shot a cufflink
off the piano player. "This is really helping me. Is there anything else you can share with me?"

"One more thing," said the old man. "Get that can of axle grease over
there in the corner and rub it all over your gun."

The young fellow didn't hesitate but started putting the grease on the
gun.

"No, the whole gun, handle and everything." said the old man.

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?"

"No," said the old man, "But when Wyatt Earp gets done playing that
piano he's going to shove that gun up your ***, and it won't hurt as
much."